Hello guys! I'm back. (In my normal mode! haha). Sorry, about my previous post (that I decided to just delete it and keep it in my Inbox). Full of negativity, ey? heheee.. I blame the PMS! haha. Anyways, the reason why I deleted it, is because when I read back this entry, it doesn't sound so right. I mean, I wrote that while I was in disappointment and full of anger. And all the words or explanation doesn't sound so right! haha.. Lain yang nak disampaikan, lain pulak saya type! hahaha.
Anyway, now that I'm back, and could think positively and being normal again...I think, I should just let it go and erase that entry (so I can erase it from my mind as well!) =)
Okayy..time to be happy, Wani!
Ohh..anyways.. just to give this entry a lil' bit of 'sound effect' (haha).. I sang a song the other day.. Oh, dramatic nya saya ni. Heee ;p (sila jangan gelakk.. Ini sekadar suka duka sahaja ye tuan tuan dan puan puan sekalian. Saya tak pernah bercita-cita/perasan nak jadi penyanyi pun..Heee ;p )
By the way, it's a song from Rossa (an awesome Indonesian singer), Hati Yang Kau Sakiti..
It's acapella, no music.. So bunyi nya agak tidak nyaman untuk di dengari. Tapi tidak mengapalah..heee ;p
Jangan pernah katakan bahwa
cintamu hanyalah untukku
karna kini kau telah membaginya
cintamu hanyalah untukku
karna kini kau telah membaginya
Maafkan jika memang kini
harus kutinggalkan dirimu
karna hatiku selalu kau lukai
harus kutinggalkan dirimu
karna hatiku selalu kau lukai
Tak ada lagi yang bisa ku lakukan tanpamu
ku hanya bisa mengatakan apa yang ku rasa
Ku menangis membayangkan
betapa kejamnya dirimu atas diriku
kau duakan cinta ini
kau pergi bersamanya
Ku menangis melepaskan
kepergian dirimu dari sisi hidupku
harus slalu kau tahu
aku lah hati yang telah kau sakiti
ku hanya bisa mengatakan apa yang ku rasa
Ku menangis membayangkan
betapa kejamnya dirimu atas diriku
kau duakan cinta ini
kau pergi bersamanya
Ku menangis melepaskan
kepergian dirimu dari sisi hidupku
harus slalu kau tahu
aku lah hati yang telah kau sakiti
Okayy.. Go ahead.. Laugh at me.. Pitching lari di sana sini..haha.. Biasalah, budak tak pernah pergi karaoke. huhu.. (Aku nyanyi jadi Rossak bukan Rossa. hahaha.)
Anyways.. here's the full version, (and 100 million times better) of the song.. Enjoy!
Ok byee!
P/s: Thank you so much for the sweet/thoughtful/positive comments/SMSes/emails. You guys are awesome!
P/ss: Dad, Sisters, Naz, I love you! Mmmmmmuah! ;*
Signing Off.
hye....wani...seriouslymmg tertarik dengan entry ni..i nak tau, dia wt pe kat u but its ok kalau u taknak cerita... i just nak share dgn u.. i ada bf and kitorang hampir 4 taun... normal ke kalau kdg2 kita tak rasa dat love dengan partner kita? coz sometimes i rasa cam..camne yer... mayb sbb da 4 years, n kdg2 gado sbb benda bodoh..n normal ke kita slalu gado? kdg2 rasa pelik,kd2 smpi tny dia, kenapa kita slalu gado n org len pun macam kita ke? ni normal ke? n yes, sometimes dia wt something yang xptt like pm gals kt fb, minta ym, fon..normal ke macam tu? should i trust him? camne ye?i tak tau nak tanya siapa... coz u noe, its quite annoying when we tell a story to someone but she act pretends listening...mind to reply?
ReplyDeleteur story is somewhat familiar...:mine..
ReplyDeletewe are in d same boat..geram kan?having to trust someone so badly then they just shut us off like that. i mean,when a girl loves or hooks with someone,she would do just about anything for him.n they??hmmm..
btw,i pun sama..tgh malas nk pk psl laki..get the same kinda jerks EVERYTIME!
(sorry for blabbing.but i find ur post this time to be really from ur heart.n i know exactly how it feels)
ayat from 'how i met your mother':
your THE ONE is right now, running as fast as he can to you..'
so sabar ye wany?dia akan sampai jugak..doa byk2 :)
xx
shea
ur story is somewhat familiar...:mine..
ReplyDeletewe are in d same boat..geram kan?having to trust someone so badly then they just shut us off like that. i mean,when a girl loves or hooks with someone,she would do just about anything for him.n they??hmmm..
btw,i pun sama..tgh malas nk pk psl laki..get the same kinda jerks EVERYTIME!
(sorry for blabbing.but i find ur post this time to be really from ur heart.n i know exactly how it feels)
ayat from 'how i met your mother':
your THE ONE is right now, running as fast as he can to you..'
so sabar ye wany?dia akan sampai jugak..doa byk2 :)
xx
shea
totally agreed..
ReplyDelete=)
same things goes to me and after few years..i still can't let go everythg..kalau ada pil utk lupakan certain memories..do let me know will ya? hihihihi
owh...kite ada the same story la. But mine lg severe than u la.. Heee. Kite da dgn this boy for about 6 years! And suddenly he told me that he had found the right girl..dem!
ReplyDeleteIt tooks 3 months utk kite bangun dr kesedihan tu tau. Seriously. Sampai turun 11 kgs...haha. But now i realizes, there's something moooooreee sweet if im not with him. So wani, have faith in urself ya! Be strong..dun let boys wat kite membazir air mata...;)
Hi Wanie.. I'd say for ur side, good riddance! Maybe u'll feel the pain now but it'll lessen with time before it finally fade away and become merely a (small) fraction of ur memory. Time heals everything okie babe. So cheer up and chin up! :D
ReplyDeleteHi wanie!!!wah bila baca post ni rasa teringat pulak kisah yang lalu.meh bagik sebijik pil pelupa tuh.hahahahaha.u are right sometimes rasa penat dengan lelaki but jgn give up.he's not the one lah tu.baik u pikir pasal benda lain,kang teringat dia lagik sakit hati.oh yea i penah dah rasa mcm tuh.6 years babeh.kalau nak di pikir membuang tue,dah terbazir byk perkara.now married with someone yg i kenal 3 bulan je.bahagia okeh,dah ada sorang baby boy lagik.
ReplyDeleteman..we are soooo in the same position now.trust me,just when u stop looking for it..it will come to u..been there..done that
ReplyDeletehey wani dear :) i scrolled down to yr posts and thought that body shop mirror looked familiar! haha. miss u babe! take cr
ReplyDeletehey.. :)
ReplyDeletebe patient k. u're young, still have a long way 2 go. thats just part of your journey. cherish it, even it hurts sbb itulah yg akn jadi your guidance nnt.
tapi i mmg benci org yg treat other human badly. I mean, hello, u cant even be cruel to animals (including babi n anjing yg najis mughalazah tu) inikan pulak to human yg ada akal n perasaan ni. manusia mcm ni sila pegi jahanam!
ok dh ter-emo~
hi wani, i've been reading ur blog almost 6 months now..silent reader la kunun2...sgt suke pd blog u n ur sister
ReplyDeletekalau ikutkan, saya pangkat kakak sbb dah tua..sobbb sobbbs. so what can i say as a sister...u muda lg...so dun give up..byk benda lg yg u bleh explore ttg kehidupan. love is a life, but dun forget, there's so many thing in life yg perlu kita teroka selain cinta. kan? cinta kpd manusia x kekal, cintalah pd yg Maha Menyintai.Serahkan segala pada-Nya, insyaAllah, Dia akan hadiahkan seseorang yg sempurna utk wani.
dont go through life, grow through life.
Wanie,
ReplyDeleteLet bygone be bygone. Apa dah jadi, jadilah...You did that coz u think it was the right thing to do.
This is my opinion. It's up to u to follow or not.
From today, try to do good to others without expecting them to treat the same way to u. If u love sumone in future, love that person with all ur heart. When u have done all that, only ask for rewards from Allah, not from others. He will reward u according to ur deeds and He knows best about your situation.
In short, "Remember remember that everything that is happening today, good or bad is because of His will. Keep that in mind, always!"
Wany, akak sokong niat wani bechenta lps kawen tuh....lagi bahagia rasanya.tapi pilih la yg elok2, jgn hentam kromo saja...mmg "buang karan" ja layan bofren end up jd mcm yg dah terjadi...
ReplyDeletesian u..tak patot tol ex bf u tu wat macm tu kat u..but Alhamdulillah dia tak jadi husbd u kan...memang bukan jodoh u la tu..jangan diingat lagi.yang penting ada sum1 better waiting 4 u. lelaki baik untuk perempuan baik.tgok ur sis thepinkstilettos...they r such a lovely couple..i envy them so much!coz i lalui (sedang) apa yang u dah lalui. worst dah jadi husband!n now expecting no.2..u kira beruntung coz belum gone too far..macam i, i dah diikat dan terikat oleh anak2....lelaki memang ego kan??so hard to believe this is the same man i've been dating before..nak menyesal pun dah tak guna u...cuma mampu doa supaya Allah bagi kekuatan pada i n anak2.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I read, u actually loved that guy.. The fact that you have been with him for 4 years, well that's something..
ReplyDeleteU don't stick around so long with him if u haven't had the slightest bit of love for the guy.
So, U have been in love, just not the kind of love u were hoping for.. Love takes many different form, right? Yours may just not that strong enough or well, just simply not meant to be.
Chill, babe! U'll find the right one someday. Never stop praying and never ever loose hope.
Yours,
Natra.
p/s--> I don't have a blog, just love reading people's blogs..And no I am not a stalker! :)
darling..dah2..jgn sedey2 dh..buang masa, tenaga n airmata je ko nanges utk org yg x pnh kesah pon psl ape yg ko rase..sume dia jela yg btul..dia jela yg innocent..kepala hotak dia la..isk..tibe2 aku plak teremo..huhu..sowi..btw, if u need me, u know u can always contact me rite darling? im always here eventho u cant see me..love u =)
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel especially when u can still remember all the things that had happened for the past years. Be strong. I am in the same situation as well.
ReplyDeletei totally agree with falling in love after marriage,at least it is fruitful unlike pasang boyfriend yg ntah nak kawin dgn kita atau nak main2 je wallahua'lam.
ReplyDeletesyazana: hey dear, sorry but i cant really tell what he did or what he didn't do and supposed to do as a bf. but apa2 pun, the bottom line is, i wasn't happy with him..
ReplyDeleteanyways, about ur bf tu..i cant say much..well who am i to judge? lgpon i x kenal pon u betul2 macam mana n i tak kenal pon ur bf mcm mana..so, i cant really say much..
but, if u really want my opinion, i think, in a r/ship, biasalah kalau rasa mcm boring.. tp for me, bukan lah boring with that person.boring maybe with the situation ke apa la.. mcm u ada bestfriend lah. u boring ke dgn ur bestfriend? tak, kan? so same goes to ur partner. for me, a partner shud be someone yg kita share everything n dia kenal hati kita, kenal luar/dalam semua tanpa rasa u ni boring or tah hape2..
kalau ada rasa pon, tegur la..ha mcm tu la lebih kurang..
and about the ym/ mintak fon number etc tu, honestly, i dari dulu lagi rasa a guy and a girl shudnt be friends if diorg bukan dkt tempat kerja/blaja sama.. mcm for me, takde point pon nak kwn.. kalau knal pon thru FB n then sebuk sgt mintak fon number apa sume tuh, mmg ada niat lain la tuu.
shea: thank u so much for those advice. really appreciate it. well, right now mmg i tgh try distract my mind from remembering my pasts la. =)
kowneysa: heheh. yes, yes..kalau ada, i will let u know!! hehee ;p
butterfly: err...i dun think we r in the same shoes..sbb in my case, i yg dah tak tahan. so i bla..
i can't stand the pain anymore. i x boleh hidup with that kind of attitude..thats y i terpaksa tinggalkan for my own sake..
bcuz, i believe that i too, deserve to be happy. =)
mimi: thanks babe! well...sebenarnya i memang okay. in fact, kalau u nak tahu..i lagi happy after leaving him. even my friends said my face is glowing since then n they've never seen me menangis kecewa whatsoeverr.. cuma, lately ni je, mcm tiba2 teringat every single thing that happened.. tu yg i break down sbb mcm pk balik, KENAPA ehh dia buta sgt..haihhh..
reet: wah wah..seronok nyaaa! kenal 3 bln n then terus kawen?! i suka tgk org mcm tu..i rasa comel..drpd yg bercinta smpai 5-6 thn tp pastu takde apa2 pon..
hmm..now, i tgh tunggu my prince utk dtg kat i je la b4 getting married..haha (tp mcm dah berbln2 je tunggu..hahaha) ;p
dalila: really? how do u deal with it?
anyway, yea i hope so.. =)
yvonne: hye youuu! i missss u gorgeous! =)
ehee yea..THAT is the same mirror i bring during school days..haha
adihana: heh. yeahh.. i paling cukup x suka org yg taktau nak treat org baik2 ni la..haihh
ili safuraa: first of all, thanks for reading/following my blog =)
secondly, thanks for the advice/reminder! yes, cinta pada Maha Menyintai is what we all should do.. =)
syidi: hye syidi! didnt know u read my blog! hehe.. thanks so much for those words..
ReplyDeletei like this phrase especially, "Remember remember that everything that is happening today, good or bad is because of His will." =)
thanks syidi!
mierafaziera: yes, kan kan kan...i nak bercinta lepas kawen.. dulu sbb main hentam je, org lain ada bf, saya pon nak ada bf. haha..
now, its time for me to cari THE ONE! Hehehe ;p
anonymous: omg!! i mmg sgt takot benda tu jadi if i kawen nnt.. thats y i leaved him..bcuz i dun want that kind of things to happen in my marriage..ye la, time tgh takde pape pon dah mcm tu..ni kan pulak bila kawen..haihh..
alhamdullilah, after i prayed for so many times, at last i ada kekuatan utk tinggalkan dia. selama ni asik, takot2..asik kesian..n takot sgt to be 'the bad guy'.. now that i leave him, i dun feel that i am the bad guy at all..bcuz i know i did the right thing..
n about ur hubby tu...erm..u just have to pray hard..n hope that one day, he'll change.. kesian akak..i faham perasaan akak..tskk.. =(
Sabar byk2 kay akak! wani doakan kebahagian akak! insyallah!!
anonymous/natra: well, i didnt say i dont 'love' him at all. of course i do. tipu lah kalau i kata i dont have the slightest bit of love for the guy..right? BUT if u must know..i love him more like a friend type of love u know.. But the passionateness and the affectionateness were not there in my heart. =(
there were so many times i tried to leave him, but he just cant let me go..but after one big incident, i just cudnt handle it anymore n i cant bear the pain anymore..so thats y i leave. Finally.
It took me so long to finally speak up and make a decision.. all these while, ive been keeping it to myself. Err..well..i cant say much here.. its not appropriate.. so..biar je lah..my story ends here..
but well..whatever it is, i tried. seriously, i tried so damn hard to open up my heart. but i just couldnt. And yeah, u were right. we're just not meant to be.
He's different. And I'm different.
naz: thanks naz..smlm aku tried call ko, tak dpt pon..tskk..
ada benda lain lagi sebenarnya aku nk bgtau kau.. tp ni bkn psl dia..
Smlm aku down gila dowh..aku nangis smpai tdo..tskk..bgn2 je, mata aku dah mcm bola golf! haha..
anyways.. hmm..tah ar, aku tatau asal tetibe skrg aku asik teringat dia. teringat dari segi apa yg dia ckp, apa yg dia buat, apa yg dia tak buat, apa yg dia patut buat..etc..probably sbb baru jugak lg org tanya2 aku n so aku ter-cerita, so tu yg terus ingat balik segala2 nya, after a few months has passed.. aku terasa bodoh sgt2.. aku terasa di perguna kan.. aku terasa mcm slama ni yg aku nk please kan dia sgt2 tu, dia anggap tu sampah je..itu yg buat aku bengang sgt.. the fact that he really changed me to become defensive dgn dia tu yg aku bengang sgt.. i wasnt like that b4.. n dia buat hati aku keras, takde perasaan, tak kesah. n tu yg membuat kan aku menyampahhh..
n the part yg dia berjaya buat aku percaya yg aku ni teruk lagi lah aku sakit hati..sbb bila aku cerita dkt org lain, asked them, aku ni teruk ke..n semua terkejut aku buat benda2 tu.. n said that aku tak teruk..haih..aku tak paham la manusia jenis apa dia tu nak perlekeh kan partner sendiri..ingat competition ke apa nk kena dia je yg lebih, dia je yg menang..padahal mmg takde apa2 pon! yeeeeesh.
haa pastu dah la aku tak penah nak merajuk, nak marah apa semua tu, its like aku ni dilarang utk rasa apa2 dlm hubungan tuh..ha tu lg buat aku sakit hatiii sgt2! mcm aku ni kayu je wehh.. heeeeeee.. sumpah aku sakit hati sgt..aku teringat benda2 yg dari 1st year pasal cupcakes la, pasal 20 gifts la, pasal cane dia ckp dgn aku, n psl kwn dia tu, pasal kejadian dkt jln TAR, etc tu sampai lah bday dia tuh.. aaaaaaaaaaaaa...benci lah perasaan tak puas hati mcm ni!!! =(
aku benci sbb aku terasa bodoh sgt2 sbb lama sgt utk aku ckp NO!! aaaaa..naz i need u!!! =(
mrs k: yes. find me a hubby please! hahah ;p
ilygate: tsk tskkk..thanks for understanding.. =(
it's good u ended the relationship awal2.. kang bila dah tunang ke kawen lg la susah. you're still young banyak peluang lagi utk jumpa laki lain. Kawan dgn laki sebaya mmg x best. laki lambat matang. senang2 ko cari ala2 datok k. heee
ReplyDeletemarriage doesnt solve the problem. kalau dpt kawen dgn kaki pompuan ke, kaki pukul ke, or kaki kikis duit lg terukk...
sejak aku buat biznes mcm2 manusia dah aku jumpe..huhukk
Biasa la ahdik, awal2 mmg asik teringat (few months is still considered awal). But it will slowly fade away as time goes by, altho maybe not completely. Aku dulu pon sakit hati, benci, menyampah sgt2, nak pil pelupa ada jadah semua. But really, when that sakit-hati phase dah lepas u will realize that all those things happened for a reason (that only u will know).
ReplyDeleteAku selalu ingat pesan abah mama dulu, kalau before kawin pon byk benda tak kena, selalu gaduh, etc then it's not a good sign. sbb lepas kawin lagi macam2 dugaan kite tatau. my experience with the ex, kejap break pastu couple balik, break couple break couple for almost 4 years camtu. then aku pk2 balik, kalau kawin nanti macam mana? break pastu sambung balik jugak ker? coz ppl say time bercinta semua indah. kalau time bercinta pon dah tak berapa indah, imagine life after marriage with that person. aku pon macam ko jugak dulu, tried to love him sbb macam dah involve in a relationship for a few years then rasa macam kena teruskan jugak despite not being happy with that guy sbb nak jaga hati punya pasal! (haihh...pompuan, pompuan)
But now i know, dlm hal macam ni u have to be selfish n pentingkan diri sendiri dulu. Be grateful that u realized about this now than later bila semua dah terlambat. Anggap sebagai lesson to be learnt. Ko dah lalui benda camni, so ko tau apa akibatnya etc n the good thing about it is that u can actually learn from that. This is after all a part of your journey through life. So nak tak nak, terima jela labu walau pahit sikit. Lama2 nanti insyaallah ok dah.
Remember, every cloud has a silver lining (or pink, if u want ;p). Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one...because if we don't meet the wrong ones, how would we know if a person is right for us?
Nway, I think the best way to take ur mind off it is by not talking about it anymore - the more u talk, the more u will remember the past, the more sakit hati u'd become. Yes u might feel like u wanna tell the whole world about it tapi it won't do u any good. Yg dah lepas takleh nak buat apa dah walau nangis air mata darah sekalipun, so tak payah terkenang2 si dia yg tak patut dikenang k. Life goes on. Kenang kejap cukup. Sbb tu dulu aku malas nak cerita2 sgt kat ko or sape2 sampai some ppl ingat aku macam takde perasaan. Sbb aku realized bila cerita kat org, dia macam trigger lagi that hatred feeling so it's like a vicious cycle and I was tired of feeling that way.
Lagipon kumbang bukan seekor.. heceee ;D Tapi aku perasan la dulu, lepas habis stage menyampah benci tu, terus jumpa Muaz. So what I'm saying is, don't dwell in that hatred feeling lama2 sgt sbb it will only suck out the happiness in you. U will meet The One soon. Trust in Allah and yourself!
And stop watching sad sappy movies please!! (coz I know u love those kind of movies lepas tu suka nak nangis2. Not good ok). Sila tgk movies yg buat anda ketawa sampai nak terkencing ;p
p/s: this is probably my longest comment ever (with the help of Muaz)!! huhu
i knew exactly how u felt. The feeling of went to bed every nite just to end up crying alone. and if u found that 'pil lupa' pls give me a dose. i need it :)
ReplyDeletep/s: i wonder why people said time will heals all wounds when it is not actually.
adik wani..
ReplyDeletedon't be sad!u deserve someone better!!i'll pray for u k...
hey girl i feel you. Not to worry so much, its their loss and not ours. let them be who they wanna be and one day, they will realised and god is great. There is karma.
ReplyDeleteLets just move on, enjoy life and think positive. Maybe its a sign from god telling us that he is not the one for us. Take it as a blessing dear, dont let it affect you..
Cheer up! for there is so much more to look for in this life :)
i like ur sista comment and thanks 4 commenting back.. :-) now im just waiting to see what will happen next..like ur susta said, kalau kita da slalu gado, its not a good sign..... thanks everyone..
ReplyDelete"don't look for mr. right. look for mr. right now. and eventually, that 'now' part will just, drop away" - Christina (The Sweetest Thing) - I love that moviee!!!! :D
ReplyDeletewani dear,
ReplyDeletei pon penah trasa camne diperbodohkan, dipersiakan. cam kebaikan i slama ni semua sia2 je. tp i percaya pd ketentuan-Nya :)
semua tu berlaku, utk kita belajar. supaya tak terjadi kali kedua.
tabahkan hati ok :)
jgn bebankan diri.
yg saket nnt diri sendiri. not good.
take care.
muaz thought he is her first bf
ReplyDeletewahahahahaha.. wani chomel nye u nyanyiiiii.. sukaaaaaa!!
ReplyDeleteomg!!! u have such a nice voice! i bet if there's a guitar or a piano playing along with ur voice, that song would be awesome to hear!
ReplyDeletebtw, don't be sad wani1 it's his lost, not yours!
u are awesome!!!
:)
hye wani..
ReplyDeletei dengar byk kali ok lagu tu.n i fikir, seriously u ke yang nyanyi ni..suara da macam memang penyanyi sebenar je..heee..lagi sedap dengar u nyanyi..^__^
to everyone: thanks for the sweet comments! love u all!
ReplyDeleteanonymous/sheeq/farhana: geeeee...thanks! kalau ada music cam best sket kan..tp i x reti main instruments..heeee ;p
Dear Wani. Hmm..U know what i already said about this masa kita kat Starbucks, so i tak nak repeat benda yang sama. Tapi nak cakap suara u sedappp! U take care ok. U will meet The One. U will. Insya Allah. Have faith k?
ReplyDeletehahahah..i've been listening to the lagu many times already
ReplyDeleteyes, u have great voice:D
-nor-
yes, suara u sedap.
ReplyDeletenoice voice!
ReplyDelete