So how do you know if you're in a lasting and awesome relationship? I read a few self-help books and love & relationships articles/books recently.. And I would like to share the "summary" and the info I get in here! hehe ;)
So here's what the experts say:
Number 1: You would feel good and happy! - A good and healthy relationship makes you feel good about yourself! You feel very contented with what and who you are, because the person accepts you and loves you just the way that you are! (Your partner won't condemn you or bring you down on things that you're lacking of..or incapable of doing, or etc )
Number 2: You look forward to spending time with your partner! You don't feel bored or annoyed with his or her presence! You love having him or her around! And you don't need to be with other people or go to functions or events with your friends, or find reasons to avoid being alone together.
Number 3: You enjoy spending quality time together even when it's quiet! Yes, quiet time with your partner is as important as communicating/talking with him/her too! Because according to the experts, that kind of moment, allows you to learn things about your partner even more!
Number 4: You respect your partner. You are not controlling of what he or she likes to do or anything. You give your partner his/her space to do their hobbies/activities, etc. - Remember, the world does not only revolves around you!
Number 5: You hear yourself bragging about your partner. You would appreciate every little things about him or her! And you'd find yourself saying things like: "Oh, my boyfriend has the prettiest eyes I have ever seen!" or... "My fiancee is the hottest girl in my campus" or.. "My husband is a really talented singer. I bet if he join the American Idol, he would surely win!" hehe..
(Note: If you find that you're always talking about yourself, you're not really focused on your partner or the relationship! So it's time to evaluate about you, your partner and the relationship!)
Number 6: You're interested in what your partner thinks. You ask your partner's opinion about issues that are important to you. - It's okay if he or she disagrees with you!
Number 7: You accept your partner's quirks or bad behaviors/habits. Well, everyone has them. Even you....and me! So if your partner's quirks are endearing or tolerable, you're in good shape! But if they really bother you, then you should look more closely at the relationship. And whether you are able to work through your problems. - It's natural to have some bumps in the relationship road to true bliss.
People in healthy relationships see disagreements as a chance to learn more about their partner. However, if you're creating problems, or if you think every fight is the "big one" leading to a breakup, you should probably rethink about your relationship!
Number 8: You feel safe. You're not afraid of losing your partner. You feel the love. You feel joy. You feel happiness. You feel that both of you can count on each other. And you are being honest and just with each other. And your partner feels and do the same too!
Number 9: You can't explain why you're together. - Awwww!
Many people coordinate their lives so that they have to be together. But ask yourself if you're together because you truly want to be or because of other factors like peer pressures, or because your parents wants you to, or because of pity, or because you want to help someone else's, or because you want to gain something out of the relationship or anyyyy thing at all!
If you answered yes to one of the reasons other than pure love, then maybe you should reevaluate your relationship, because you're bound to have problems with the person/relationship — if you haven't already! But if the answer is "yes, you really truly want to be with each other.." then you two would probably have a healthy and happy relationship and will stay with each together forever! - Awww.... hehe
Number 10: You don't compare your partner to others. There will always be someone more beautiful, awesome, smarter or more athletic than your partner, but you don't care because you only want to be with him or her!
Last but not least, always remember this guys! A relationship is never a one-way thingy! It's always a two way street! Both of you must work things out! - I've learned a lot since my previous relationship.. In a relationship, it's not always you who must try to make your partner happy! He or she MUST strive and try to make YOU happy as well! Because everybody deserves to be happy and deserves to be treated nicely and equally! And it's not always "giving", most of the time, and it's also not about "taking" all the time too! It must be balance.
(And for now...I will try to stop giving so much. And learn to take pulak.. hahah ;p)
Anyways.. so if you still don't know whether your love will last, try this last piece of advice from me.. Make a list of what you require from someone, to be happy. It could be a really really simple things like... "Drinking hot chocolate at Whisk Cafe every Sunday together", or "Just do nothing together while we stare at each other"... to the things that are quite...erm....complicated? Like maybe... "I want someone who would pick me to go on a date with a carriage and a real horse instead of his red Ferrari". LOL. Oh well...just list it! It'll be fun! But don't be so ridiculous laa, like the one I just said! hahah.. Love is simple. Don't complicate things!
Anyways, if the list is met, you may have found your everlasting love! Good luck! ^____^
(Good luck to me as well! hehehe ;p)
XOXO,
Shazzy.
So here's what the experts say:
Number 1: You would feel good and happy! - A good and healthy relationship makes you feel good about yourself! You feel very contented with what and who you are, because the person accepts you and loves you just the way that you are! (Your partner won't condemn you or bring you down on things that you're lacking of..or incapable of doing, or etc )
Number 2: You look forward to spending time with your partner! You don't feel bored or annoyed with his or her presence! You love having him or her around! And you don't need to be with other people or go to functions or events with your friends, or find reasons to avoid being alone together.
Number 3: You enjoy spending quality time together even when it's quiet! Yes, quiet time with your partner is as important as communicating/talking with him/her too! Because according to the experts, that kind of moment, allows you to learn things about your partner even more!
Number 4: You respect your partner. You are not controlling of what he or she likes to do or anything. You give your partner his/her space to do their hobbies/activities, etc. - Remember, the world does not only revolves around you!
Number 5: You hear yourself bragging about your partner. You would appreciate every little things about him or her! And you'd find yourself saying things like: "Oh, my boyfriend has the prettiest eyes I have ever seen!" or... "My fiancee is the hottest girl in my campus" or.. "My husband is a really talented singer. I bet if he join the American Idol, he would surely win!" hehe..
(Note: If you find that you're always talking about yourself, you're not really focused on your partner or the relationship! So it's time to evaluate about you, your partner and the relationship!)
Number 6: You're interested in what your partner thinks. You ask your partner's opinion about issues that are important to you. - It's okay if he or she disagrees with you!
Number 7: You accept your partner's quirks or bad behaviors/habits. Well, everyone has them. Even you....and me! So if your partner's quirks are endearing or tolerable, you're in good shape! But if they really bother you, then you should look more closely at the relationship. And whether you are able to work through your problems. - It's natural to have some bumps in the relationship road to true bliss.
People in healthy relationships see disagreements as a chance to learn more about their partner. However, if you're creating problems, or if you think every fight is the "big one" leading to a breakup, you should probably rethink about your relationship!
Number 8: You feel safe. You're not afraid of losing your partner. You feel the love. You feel joy. You feel happiness. You feel that both of you can count on each other. And you are being honest and just with each other. And your partner feels and do the same too!
Number 9: You can't explain why you're together. - Awwww!
Many people coordinate their lives so that they have to be together. But ask yourself if you're together because you truly want to be or because of other factors like peer pressures, or because your parents wants you to, or because of pity, or because you want to help someone else's, or because you want to gain something out of the relationship or anyyyy thing at all!
If you answered yes to one of the reasons other than pure love, then maybe you should reevaluate your relationship, because you're bound to have problems with the person/relationship — if you haven't already! But if the answer is "yes, you really truly want to be with each other.." then you two would probably have a healthy and happy relationship and will stay with each together forever! - Awww.... hehe
Number 10: You don't compare your partner to others. There will always be someone more beautiful, awesome, smarter or more athletic than your partner, but you don't care because you only want to be with him or her!
Last but not least, always remember this guys! A relationship is never a one-way thingy! It's always a two way street! Both of you must work things out! - I've learned a lot since my previous relationship.. In a relationship, it's not always you who must try to make your partner happy! He or she MUST strive and try to make YOU happy as well! Because everybody deserves to be happy and deserves to be treated nicely and equally! And it's not always "giving", most of the time, and it's also not about "taking" all the time too! It must be balance.
(And for now...I will try to stop giving so much. And learn to take pulak.. hahah ;p)
Anyways.. so if you still don't know whether your love will last, try this last piece of advice from me.. Make a list of what you require from someone, to be happy. It could be a really really simple things like... "Drinking hot chocolate at Whisk Cafe every Sunday together", or "Just do nothing together while we stare at each other"... to the things that are quite...erm....complicated? Like maybe... "I want someone who would pick me to go on a date with a carriage and a real horse instead of his red Ferrari". LOL. Oh well...just list it! It'll be fun! But don't be so ridiculous laa, like the one I just said! hahah.. Love is simple. Don't complicate things!
Anyways, if the list is met, you may have found your everlasting love! Good luck! ^____^
(Good luck to me as well! hehehe ;p)
XOXO,
Shazzy.
good luck wani!
ReplyDelete=)
wani dearie..
ReplyDeletethis is so NICE!.. thanks a lot..im comparing each point to my relationship..
Nevermind. U will find someone better. Insyaallah.
ReplyDeleteGood luck in finding your future husband. I hope you found someone that his ethics mirror the ethics of our prophet muhammad sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam. In one of the prophet's narration: والله لايخزيك الله ابدا انك لتصل الرحم وتصديق الحديث وتحمل الكل وتقري الضيف وتعين على نوائب الحق
ReplyDeleteBrother ustaz mohd masri bin mohd ramli one of those of people who have ethics that mirror the ethics of our prophet. He has good relationship with his parents, siblings, parents' siblings, cousins, member of his extended family. He is good to his guest. He like to help other people. He is good. If you want to find someone that is good, you might want to find him.
Don't be touched when youmsee this video: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iFPfjXBMY_8
ReplyDeleteWany, nice post :)
ReplyDeletelove is blind...n we'll be blinded by love...hehehe..
ReplyDeletethis is awesome. i would like to share this on fb & quoting ur blog ok! :) thxx
ReplyDelete-from another wani. hihi