Of Ears and Earrings. The Dilemma

Man I love my ears. In fact, I actually love most normal ears in this world. By saying normal, I meant those perfectly shaped earlobes! I just find ears are cute to look at, and nice & fun to hold and play with! You may find me weird when I say all this, well probably I am, but....really, I just find people's ears are so attractive and irresistible! haha - Of course, the nicely shaped ones lah. (I don't really like those very long ears...or those who don't have the earlobes as I call it...or as they called, the attached earlobes...or whatever it is that didn't look that normal to my eyes)

For me, the detached earlobes is nice and pretty. I don't really like the deep scapha structure like I show in the first picture above, and the attached lobes especially! Simply because I can't really play with it, and they don't really look that pretty to my eyes. hehe. Alhamdullilah,  God granted me with a pretty set of ears. At least I think so! ;p

Anyways, I had this serious ear fetish since I was born. Yes, I developed this weird habit ever since I was born! - As in few weeks just after I was born in this world! And until now, I still can't seem to get my hands off my ears! It's kinda like a self-soothing or something, I guess! I just feel so calm and nice when I'm holding and playing with my ears. Macam khayal or something...can't really describe the exact feelings! haha. 

Mom told me that just after few days that I was born, she said I started putting my two fingers (the index and middle fingers) inside my mouth and started sucking it..and then when I have started to lift up my hands, I used the other free hand that I have (which is my left hand), to play with my ears pulak! So back then, it's kinda like a must for me to do these two habits at the same time; sucking my fingers while playing with my ears! haha. What a weird kid I was ;p

Like this!

Sorry, bad quality picture! But that's me.. the one that my mom's holding. 

My mom is the one in hijab of course!  The other women is my mom's arab friend

Anyway, I would do that every single day of my life.. But I had stopped sucking my fingers at 7 years old, and I thought I would stop playing with my ears as well. But no, this odd habit of mine, has been here for like 25 years already...and God knows when will I stop playing with my ears (pulling, twisting, flipping or whatever I can do with it!)  >__<

"Man....ears are so cool!"

"Yumm...yummm this feels so good mama! I don't need my bottles or anything else. I just need my two fingers and my ear!"

Sucking my fingers like nobody's business!

Oh look at that... She's sooo calm. LOL

Well, playing with my ears is kinda like a love-and-hate feeling/relationship actually. I mean I love to play with it, but because I've been playing with it for 25 years already, my ears aren't that crispy as they used to be! Cuz I would do this every day without fail - whenever I watch TV/movies, while reading, while blogging..while writing...while studying...while trying to sleep or any activity at all that let my hands to be free, I'll grab my ears without me realizing it! 

However, these days it's no fun playing with it anymore because it's too soft now as compared to like, 10 years ago! (But regardless, I still refused to stop this stupid bad habit of mine! >__< ) So sometimes, without me realizing it, when I play so hard on my soft ears, I made my earlobes bleed! Eeek....  O__o

Well, they're only small cuts actually. But the weird thing is, I'm kinda addicted to get my ears bleed a little nowadays. Which worries me. Because now, I don't just play like how I used to, but I'm like....wanting it to get hurt and bleed a little, because that little pain I get on my earlobes, is kinda nice somehow!!!! 

And at this point, I'm kinda worry what will happen to my pretty ears in the next few years?!! 

When will I stop doing thisssss??!

So I think, this ear fetish has gone too far now... That's why I think, I needed to do something about it! - I need to pierce my ears! Yes, I've never been pierced before. Never. I don't like pierced ears. They just don't feel like the normal ears I play with! - I have played with lotsa pierced ears before...and it's not the same feeling I get! hahah

So....in taking control of myself, and hoping that I will stop playing with my ears consciously or unconsciously, and just be a normal human being who don't feel the need to play with her own ears or her friend's ears everyday, I'm thinking of getting my ear pierced for the first time! 

So no more wearing clip-on earrings like kiddies, like that! ;p

However, I'm reaaaaaaally afraid that I don't like my new ear when I have pierced it..... :( Even if the holes have closed up already one day. Because it won't feel the same to me. - I have touched so many pierced ears before..and blearghhhh I don't like it at all! The feeling is not there! haha. Plus, if I have piercings done, I knowww I will be itching to get all the latest styles, colors and trends of the earrings for my new ears, to add on my over-flowing accessories collection. Pfffft. And that would incur my cost of living some moreeee. And I'm sure my future husband would hate those unnecessary expenses! LOL

And I know I'm not gonna wear that kind of styles forever. I know I will cover fully and properly in the next few years. So having my ear pierced without wearing any earrings by then, would totally depreciate my ear's value! haha.. ;p

And the thought of having to put on the earrings every now and then...and especially before bedtime, I must remove any dangling earrings I wear on that day, just make me quite skeptical about this whole piercing thingy. Because....it seems kinda troublesome and leceh to me lah. I still prefer my naked ear. (My naked ear which I abused that is! ;p )

Man....I sound like a 2 year old kid, giving a lot of excuses not to get the needle near her ears. haha. Well it's not about being afraid of getting my ears poked or what. But it's about me.. physically, emotionally and mentally prepared for losing my normal ears that I love so much! I'm so used to it be this way...unpoked.

Hmm....I don't know. Should I get my ears pierced? Or should I not? What if I hate my pierced ears and can't live with it? And what if I can't stop playing with it until I'm old? Is it normal to have this weird habit?? Do you guys have any weird habit that you still do after many, many years? Is this normal?? Hmmmm....... =/

XOXO,

Worried.