Happy Tears..

Today I am forty weeks (plus) pregnant with our first baby. Yes, I'm #StillPregnant! haha. Well that's almost 10 months of carrying a precious life, that is half of him and half of me inside my womb! O__o With Baby A's arrival only days away inshaallah, I can't help but think about how our marriage and friendship will change when we become a family.

It seems like just yesterday we got married..and decided to get pregnant after 8 months of blissfully being a newlywed! Hehe. And now I can't believe that we're just a few days away of starting a family and a new phase of life! ☺️

Throughout this three years of knowing Hazim and being married for a year and a half now, there is never a day that passes by I don't feel happy with him, alhamdullilah. We couldn't believe that we have made it over a year already. We both felt like we're only been married for about 3 months or so! haha. I guess when you're having fun, you won't realize how fast time flies! All praise to Allah, the Creator and Owner of happiness. I know a year is only a short period of time to judge and say this, and we have a long way to go still, but I am grateful with the blessings Allah has given me so far, and I will try to remember everyday that all these are from Allah, and not to take things for granted because he could easily take away everything that I have now... And I know, with a baby comes new responsibilities and a lot of exhaustion. So I hope that no matter what obstacles lie ahead of us, we can get through the early stages of parenthood together and grow closer as a family, Inshaallah.

Well..I never really share this with anyone, but tonight I think I just let my emotions write this... Sorry if I sounded a lil' cheesy here. Because who knows, after having kids, I won't be as romantic as I used to be, and I'll forget how and why did I fell in love with my husband.. - Not that I intend to, but with all the "mommy mode" I'll be having later on for the next 20 years, you never really know right..? So I would like to take this opportunity to say that you're an amazing person and and I will love you forever and will strive to be the best wife and mommy to your children, inshaalllah.  
Thank you for always being by my side through this life creating journey that we will some day tell to our kids as big adventures.. I know when I need someone you will be there. Thank you for being the one I can count on and trust with even my darkest fears and biggest dreams. It's not the big things that you do, but the little things can mean enough for me. I would pick no one besides you to be my partner in life. You are my love. You are my sunshine after the rain..

I know all this sounds cliché but sorry, like I said..tonight I am extra emotional.... thinking and remembering everything that has happened to me before, and how God has planned my life (so far) for the best, inshaallah.. ☺️
I have put all the negative memories behind, the day I met Hazim..but I don't know why, all of a sudden, everything came back in a flash to me tonight, and I remembered how destroyed I felt with everything last time - love, life, friends, etc... and how different my life is now! Syukur Ya Allah. Sometimes I wonder, what did I do right, that I get all these blessings from Him. Alhamdullilah.. I can't thank Him enough.. :'(

I remembered I cried horribly on my wedding day (you know the kind of cry where you can't control your chin and it starts to wobble and making your face look so damn ugly? Haha. Yeah, that type of cry!)  *Yes, big surprise here.. I'm a big weeper! Haha* - I just can't control the feeling of being SO happy, mashaallah. Probably because I was hurt so badly...and suddenly everything changed 360 degrees? So maybe that's why I am feeling a little bit emotional, I guess. -- I even cried in my sleep/dream even after I am already married at the time, because I just couldn't believe how happy I am and how different I feel inside out - Bahagiaaaaaa je rasa. Hahaha. xD

You know that feeling right..when you're too happy that you cry instead of smile? Uh-huh, that one! After the wedding, I actually cried almost every night for a month, when he already went to sleep! Yes, almost every night! LOL. When I looked at him, I just couldn't believe that I am married. That he is my husband and my beautiful fate. I just never thought I would ever feel this way and meet someone who would love and appreciate me in every way, and always strive to make me happy and speak so kindly towards me. It's like Allah answered my prayers and hear my thoughts and rintihan hati.. :') And that someone is not just a boyfriend to me but a life partner, a best friend, a husband and soon Inshaallah the father of my children. Someone that Allah has written his name in Luh Mahfuz as the one for me in this world and in His beautiful Jannah, Inshaallah.  --- He actually got a little confused whether or not I am happy being married to him, on the first few weeks, cuz I always woke him up that time, with the sound of me sobbing like a child in the middle of the night. Hahaha! :p

But I'm all stable now. Dah tak emotional dah. Dah normal balik. hahaha. Everyday I keep reminding myself about how I felt last time so I would always appreciate my husband, and love him whole heartedly and never take things for granted. He is really such an amazing person and husband and inshaallah an amazing dad as well. I am really, truly grateful for everything that has happened in my life, good or bad that leads me to finding this guy and be his lawfully wedded wife. And soon, a mother to his children! :)

All praise to the Almighty, the Owner of Happiness, the best of Planner and the Creator of everything that exists in this world.

I know all these happiness and kebahagiaan that I feel now is just a "loan" to me and a test in this dunya. Someone once told me that a spouse is a bless and a test from God. And I know in just seconds, He can take all these away... And I also know that it takes two people for a successful marriage, so I just wanted to let you know that having a child together will not hinder my duties as a wife to you, Inshaallah. If at first I struggle with the balance of the two, please have patience. We can grow together as parents as we have grown together into the adults we've recently become. My love for you has always been the strongest kind and will always be, inshallah. There's no other person I'd rather be on this journey with. All praise to Allah, the Creator of all things in this life. I know nothing lasts forever except Allah. So my only wish is for Him to be pleased with me and with us. Ameen. Ya rabb al ameen  :)

Enjoying the last few days as one!

Anyway....speaking about happy tears, I just can't even imagine when the day my child is born! Must be 10,000 times more happy than that bahagia feeling I felt when I got married, I guess? Tengok video orang lain beranak pun dah menangis, inikan pulak tengok baby sendiri. Such a beautiful gift! - A gift from heaven and Allah! Oh, I cannot wait!! Hopefully Allah will ease everything for me and for us, inshaallah.. ☺️

Wish me luck guys! Here's to MOMMYHOOD!!!!! :D



XOXO,
Shazzy.

My Mini Baby Shower!

My baby shower was held on a beautiful Sunday evening, on the April 12th.. (Come to think of it, my bridal shower was held on a Sunday as well! - Sunday is a good day for me apparently! heh) I was 38 weeks pregnant that day! Just about time to push! hehe. Remember my friend, Farhana? The one that I attended her awesome baby shower years ago, looking so pregnant? haha. Now, she made a surprise baby shower for me pulakkk! - Awww! Such an awesome buddy she is! I'm definitely buying her another MiuMiu purse! haha.

Anyways...She invited my friends and family to celebrate this special time in my life. She said it was just a mini shower as it was kinda an impromptu one. She planned like a day or two before! huhu... But still, it turned out to be such a lovely evening for me!

Thank you for showering me with love Fanaaaaa! *kiss kiss*

The "theme" of my baby shower was baby blue and white... Since I do not want to reveal the gender yet, so Farhana ordered a white and tiffany blue cake (boy color) with a ballerina baby girl shoes, and ribbons, and lace and pearls on my cake!

Such a cute and delicious cake!

People often asked me what is the purpose of a baby shower? Can't we just do a doa selamat instead? Well...as a muslim, of course we could! But...after the baby is born inshaallah. People often say it's not really a good thing to celebrate the birth of their unborn/upcoming child, which is something that is not a sure thing yet.. as things can always go wrong in the labor room. But for me, it all depends on your niyyah and it's always best to be moderate in whatever you do. Plus, it's good to be happy and have a positive thoughts & mind throughout your pregnancy! ^__^  I read somewhere that a positive attitude and mind helps you cope more easily with your pregnancy and labor and especially, the daily affairs of life! With a positive attitude you will see the bright side of life, become optimistic, and expect the best to happen, inshaallah! 

My small baby shower held at a Nail Smith Spa & Bar!

^__^

Anyway...traditionally, a baby shower was held to help the mommy-to-be with the things she would need for her baby. Thus, the guests would "shower" the new mom with baby gifts for her.. You know, how expensive baby stuff can be right? Whereas other cultures host a baby shower to celebrate the transformation of a woman into a mother! :)

Mom to be with her friends and family. Some has left though. 

Ahhh....I wish Malaysia have a gift registry like in the US! So awesome, you can just tell your friends or family the things that you need and want...and hopefully they'll buy for you! LOL. ;p But I'm lucky enough that my best friend is planning and hosting this baby shower for me! Plus, I already got myself 90% of the things that are on the list! But it's still great to get together with the ladies when I know I will be in my confinement period for a looong time! haha. It's such a fun thing to do for a really pregnant mother to have a nice gathering session like this before the baby arrives....because life with a newborn baby can be really messy and tiring! No sleep, no socializing, no me-time for years! Huuuu...

Anyway, I'm so glad the things I get from my baby shower are all so practical and useful and things that I still didn't have yet!! One of my friends said she really had a hard time thinking what to give me since I already got most of the important things! Blame it on the online shopping! huhu xD

Played a little game.. Main teka hadiah apa. hehe

Had a spa pedicure that day.. Since I'm at the end of my pregnancy...my feet is really bloated and tired. So being treated like thissss has realllllly made me so happy! Thank you everyone!!! You made me feel like a princess! lol

Enjoyed a nice lasagna with a cuppa tea while my feet is being massaged!

Ughhh...look at that huge toes. huhu

Then we played a little game...

Oh you know, guessing what the baby ate kind of game. haha

I wonder whose poop is this. lol

This tahi is so cair....It's definitely Coki Coki! haha

While the mommas play our little games inside, the kids had fun playing outside too!

My fave part, opening presents!!! haha

Thank you guys! 

While my in laws gave me some cute baby clothes, and baby crib/mattress... My dad gave me this cool car seat all the way from UK! We don't have this brand in Malaysia yet. The brand is called Simple Parenting.. And the name of the car seat is Doona. It's still quite new in the market. So when he asked me what I wanted for my baby, of course I said this Doona Infant Car Seat with Wheels! hehe.. Thanks dad! When he turned 1, we need to buy a new car seat though...

Later that night, my husband brought me to some baby shops to get me a nice diaper changing table for my baby shower gift! Awwww thank you darling! You're awesomeeeee! 

(Can I still get a "push present"??? haha ;p)

Anyway...I did a lot of research and read a lot of reviews on what items to purchase while I was pregnant. Of course not everyone is going to like an item or agree on what the "best" product is.. but based on what people wrote and how many reviews were written on multiple sites I was able to make the best choices for me...for now. But when the baby comes and I'm using the items, things may change, but for now... I'm really really happy with all my things and my purchases! :)

Baby A....you are going to be so loved! Can't wait to see youuuu...

P/s: Sorry the photo quality in this post is so bad. I'm only using an iPhone 5S. And I definitely need a new phone. Perhaps...a push present?? haha ;p


XOXO,
Mommy-to-be.